To Praise or Not to Praise: Insights from Prophetic Wisdom

Assalamu ‘alaykum wa rahmat Allahi wa barakatuh,

Recently, while revisiting Imam Sha’rani’s Code of Companionship, I came across an intriguing hadith: Tabarani and others narrate that the Prophet ﷺ said, "When a believer is praised to his face, faith is nurtured in his heart." (Kabir, 424; Hakim’s Mustadrak 3:597). 

This really made me pause and reflect.

What surprised me is that this seems to differ from a well-known incident: Ata' ibn Abi Rabah reported that a man praised another in front of Ibn 'Umar. Upon seeing this, Ibn 'Umar began to throw dust towards the man's mouth, saying, "The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, 'When you see those who praise people, throw dust in their faces.'" 

So how do we reconcile these two?

At first glance, the two narrations might seem contradictory, but upon deeper reflection, they complement each other. 

In the first hadith, the Prophet ﷺ is speaking about a true believer, one whose heart is humble, sincere, and deeply conscious of Allah. When such a believer is praised, they don’t feel inflated or self-important. Instead, they attribute it to Allah, thanking Him for concealing their faults and allowing others to see only their good qualities. This recognition deepens their faith, as they realise that all good comes from Allah, and they remain acutely aware of their own imperfections. The praise becomes a means of nurturing their relationship with Allah, not a cause for arrogance.

On the other hand, the second hadith seems to warn against superficial praise, especially when it is excessive or insincere. Ibn 'Umar's reaction indicates the dangers of showering praise on someone in a way that might lead to self-conceit or make them overly reliant on the approval of others. 

The wisdom here is about the context of praise — when it is appropriate and when it might do more harm than good.

Praise also functions differently depending on the level of the relationship. In new or formal connections, kind words can be uplifting and help build trust. But in closer, more personal relationships, excessive praise can feel out of place, and might even come across as insincere. 

Once a bond is established, actions often speak louder than words. However, a well-timed compliment or expression of appreciation, rooted in genuine respect, can strengthen bonds, and enhance the sincerity of our love for one another.

I hope these reflections offer some insight, and encourage us all to praise thoughtfully, always keeping our intentions in check and remembering the One who is the true source of all good.

Wassalam,

Munibah

PS: If you'd like to dive deeper into these insights and explore practical ways to shed blameworthy traits and embrace the virtues of the pious, I highly recommend picking up Imam Sha’rani’s Code of Companionship. It’s a transformative read that can truly help elevate your character.