Struggling to Find Righteous Company

Assalamu ‘alaykum wa rahmat Allahi wa barakatuh 

"Where am I going to find a righteous person?" 

This question has occupied my thoughts for a long time. Considering that every single person has defects—except the prophets who maintained an equilibrium—finding someone truly righteous seems daunting. Moreover, even if we find spiritual benefit in someone, the initial novelty eventually wears off over time.

In our quest for righteous companionship, we often overlook a vital aspect: the journey towards righteousness starts from within. To find good companions, we must first embody the qualities we seek. This begins with upholding the rights of those around us and striving to be pious ourselves.

The Prophet ﷺ emphasised the utmost importance of diligently upholding the rights of our brethren. He mentioned several rights a Muslim has over another, such as greeting one another with salam, accepting invitations, giving sincere advice, and visiting the sick. These acts strengthen our bonds and elevate our spiritual standing.

Maintaining these rights is fundamental to fostering a righteous community and neglecting these rights has severe consequences. The spiritual scholars mention: “Whoever neglects the rights of his brothers will be held accountable by Allah, leading to the forfeit of his own rights among people. When Allah calls a servant to account, He is displeased with him. And when He is displeased with a servant, He casts him into Hellfire.”

Imam Sha’rani mentions in his ‘Code of Companionship’ that one of the key rights a brother is entitled to is for us to turn a blind eye to his shortcomings. This is the alchemy of happiness. Obsessing over other’s faults diminishes our benefit and corrupts our hearts. 

Additionally, fixating on the shortcomings of others while remaining oblivious to our own is a sign of impending spiritual ruin. The scholars mention, “We have not seen anything more nullifying of good deeds, deteriorating hearts, hastening the ruin of a servant, inducing despicableness, and creating avenues for showing off, self-admiration, and the desire for leadership than a servant who is oblivious to his own faults while fixating on the shortcomings of others.”

Assuming the best possible interpretation of others’ actions is essential. If we cannot find a positive interpretation, we should reflect on our inability to do so.  Sayidi Ibrahim al-Dusuqi advises, “Do not judge your brother based on his circumstances, attire, food, or drink. Passing judgement leads to alienation and disconnection from Allah Almighty. Judgement should only be made if someone violates something explicitly forbidden by Islamic Law.”

The path to righteous companionship is paved with our efforts to embody the virtues we seek. By diligently upholding the rights of those around us and focusing on our self-improvement, we not only enrich our own spiritual journey but also attract like-minded, pious individuals into our lives.

I look forward to discussing these ideas further with you and exploring how we can collectively foster righteous, nurturing and compassionate communities.

Wassalam

Munibah